Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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