He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
there is puke in my bra ... again
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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