I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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