wat bout pragnant strippers??
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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