The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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