Your mouth is God's brothel.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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