I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Randomize
