pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
