I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
