spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
