is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
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