i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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