i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
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