sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
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