We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Randomize