is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
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Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
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Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
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