How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
