ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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