I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
