Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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