I just cut my nipple shaving
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
