My sheets look like a crime scene.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Randomize
