Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
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I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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