I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Randomize
