her vagine was all disorganized.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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