Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
