I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
