My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
