Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
