after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize