the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
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