How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
