her vagina looked like bernie madoff
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
It's official drugs can't kill me
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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