who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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