I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
