Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
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