Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
