If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
