i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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