cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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