Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Randomize
