Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
