I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Randomize
