We're like a lot better than the average bears
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
