12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Actions speak louder than pants.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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