that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Randomize
