she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Life is so much better after having sex.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
