When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
