So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
look no pants
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
