I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
