are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
