Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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