I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
