He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
