hotel room ftw
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize