i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Randomize
