I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
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