If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Randomize
