Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
