i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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