apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Randomize
