She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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