Texts From Last Night

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  (949): View more from California

  Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.

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  (949): Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off. http://tfl.nu/n7xz
  Replies (18) Good night (658) Bad night (4749)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.

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  (727): i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR. http://tfl.nu/oyj0
  Replies (16) Good night (13715) Bad night (655)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.

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  (540): You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm. http://tfl.nu/f71e
  Replies (13) Good night (5171) Bad night (1055)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON

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  (843): REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON http://tfl.nu/qqb2
  Replies (12) Good night (1330) Bad night (2554)
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  (714): View more from California

  My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin

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  (714): My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin http://tfl.nu/22om
  Replies (10) Good night (1934) Bad night (825)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.

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  (480): I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona. http://tfl.nu/nax7
  Replies (3) Good night (1755) Bad night (735)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...

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  (480): you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future... http://tfl.nu/18be
  Replies (5) Good night (1708) Bad night (1191)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis

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  (508): if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis http://tfl.nu/xw63
  Replies (5) Good night (1904) Bad night (575)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship

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  (214): I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship http://tfl.nu/dbjp
  Replies (3) Good night (1195) Bad night (564)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.

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  (+44): I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches. http://tfl.nu/i131
  Replies (6) Good night (1350) Bad night (445)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.

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  (704): he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears. http://tfl.nu/5pre
  Replies (3) Good night (686) Bad night (1022)
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  (323): View more from California

  You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five

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  (323): You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five http://tfl.nu/6fgb
  Replies (3) Good night (706) Bad night (394)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you

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  (425): I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you http://tfl.nu/h4jv
  Replies (1) Good night (592) Bad night (280)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household

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  (425): Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household http://tfl.nu/3bng
  Replies (5) Good night (904) Bad night (278)
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?

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  (520): Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent? http://tfl.nu/den8
  Replies (3) Good night (271) Bad night (489)

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