Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(952): View more from Minnesota

i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.

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(719): View more from Colorado

new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator

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(420): View more from

I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(906): View more from Michigan

3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.

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(407): View more from Florida

work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.

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(313): View more from Michigan

I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?

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(479): View more from Arkansas

National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.

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(607): View more from New York

Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?

(1-607): View more from New York

Yup I waved.

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