Need sex. Gaining weight.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
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she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
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You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me