i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.