dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
25 True Facts That Sound Fake AF
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
27 Hairstyles That Always Come With A Matching Personality
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying