Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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