imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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