Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
