just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
