Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
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